Why Belly Dance?

Gender Role Conflict

Over the years I have come to some logical ideas about why women love to belly dance. These ideas are not researched nor are they scientific at all, but rather, just my own thoughts about why I think women are drawn to and fall in love with belly dancing.

There is a part of me that feels that, while a very worthwhile and definitely needed pursuit, over the decades in and during our general quest for social equality we have had to forgo our past definitions of femininity (and masculinity, for that matter), and that we don't necessarily feel that we have adequate or clear modern definitions of femininity, that would help us to define what makes us different in a social psychological sense as women from men in our current society. Our ways of doing things and social norms have changed, but not yet taken a new complete, concrete or identifiably clear form.

The art and practice of the belly dance is indeed inherently and unmistakably feminine. From our costuming and make up, to the dance as a physical expression of female beauty and prowess, to our women populated classes and haflis, we are surrounded, behave, and express ourselves in ways that clearly denote female characteristics and beauty.

In a world where we are expected to demand social equality and to therefore focus on characteristics that make us more competitive with, acceptable to, and successful in regards to living and working in a more egalitarian world with men, a blatantly female oriented and feminine world such as the sub culture of those of us involved in belly dance can feel like a very special, welcoming, and safe place for us to finally bask in the glory of total female oriented expression without having to declare ourselves as belonging in any specific camp other than the fact that we are women.      

Growing Up As An Ugly Ducking

Personally, my childhood was not pretty in many ways. I certainly did not feel very pretty nor did I feel very feminine. I feel like I had a unique situation but I know that I probably did not. When I was two years old, my family immigrated from Italy and we ended up living in a very white, Irish neighborhood. There were constant similar remarks and questions from others that indicated to me that our presence was either very odd, or very wrong. With my black hair, olive skin, and foreign accent, I was the proverbial coffee bean in a glass of milk. My looks, my speech, and my family on the surface did not resemble those around me. Even my dolls invariably had blond hair, blue eyes, and WASP names. I was mercilessly teased by other children (children can be very cruel) and my father was sent home from work on more than one occasion because of a fight he would get into because of other workers who would also mercilessly bully him to the point where he would finally lose it.

It is of no surprise to me that I delighted in the fact that as a belly dancer, I found myself in a venue in which my looks and persona worked for me in regards to making it appear that I belonged.  Not only that, but I found myself being told that not only did I look as though I belonged, i.e. I look like a belly dancer, and I look like a person of Middle Eastern descent, but also that I was beautiful, special, and unique, and that this uniqueness in itself, that I did something as unique as belly dance, was in and of itself considered beautiful and special.  

Connecting With Women

As an adult, I find it especially difficult to connect with other women. Looking for ways to identify with and a reason to connect with other women using the commonality of an interest in belly dance became very helpful and I am very friendly with and even friends with women with whom I have met via the belly dance.

Self Expression And Creativity

Like many art forms such as writing, dancing, the performing arts, and all kinds of other art forms, the belly dance is a format for self expression and artistic creativity in a culture that does not necessarily venerate or nurture self expression, creativity, or the arts in general. Belly dancers have created their own sub-culture in which we support ourselves and each other by providing resources such as performance opportunities and instruction.

Furthermore, as someone who is undoubtedly and intrinsically a dark soul, leaning towards a despondent and more depressive aspect, a realist with a pragmatic underpinning, and an introverted, self absorbed loner with an ubiquitously cerebral mentality, I truly appreciate and bask in the unique opportunity to be able to express a more joyful, life affirming, impulsive and creative side of myself.