A Very Long Initial Contact Email

This is an email from a man who contacted me via the Internet dating site. I have removed any obvious details and changed names to protect the not-so-innocent. But, you HAVE to see this! FOUR FULL PAGES in his very first email to me. I WANT to feel flattered. In fact, I feel very frightened (but in a very funny kind of a way). Is he very excited, or just forgot to take his meds???

I did return his email with a note in which I explained I was taking my time and thanks for the email, and also, btw, what's up with the off punctuation and grammar. His response was "What odd punctuation and grammar???"

I rest my case, and I am definitely blogging this one!

From Internet dating guy:

Special Note -This turned into a way long, looooong email To you
:Its absolutely going to have to be sent to You in multiple parts for it won't all fit in one.
: However, the reason it turned into such a LONG email is You and YOUR Profile, have simply Blown Me Away !!!!
: YOU are sure sounding like a Uniquely Different and Ultra Intriguing, Mentally Stimulating Woman to Me. By Far So Much Better than the Norm out here on POF and THAT Prompted ME to just babble on and On to You here, hopeing YOU Will Be as equally interested in ME, as I am YOU.
: So bucle your seat belt and be prepared to hear / read, a Lot of what YOU and YOUR Uniqueness, prompted Me to Write you.lol
: Hope You Enjoy it and Me.

Hello there,

Wow, WoW, and WOW !!!!!!

YOU Are a Uniquely Wonderfully, Different kind of Woman than the Norm out here on POF.

I am Blown Away at how and what You wrote in your profile.

Before I write anything else, let me respond to something you Wrote in Your profile.

You said that "You pine for your youth and Feel your looks are fading".

I am here to tell YOU, Your Looks are Certainly Not fading !!

Matter of fact, I have found in my life since I have been divorced and have met numerous woman of All ages, that woman in their early forties, like You are, actualy Look the Most Beautifullest To Me for many reasons.

One of the main reasons IS that its appearing that once a woman gets in her early forties, She is Absolutely So much More in TUNE with her OWN female femininity and Very Ultra Sensuous, inner Self. Realizing maybe for the first time in her life, the Very Essence of HER OWN Feminine Sensuality is in fact the Very Core of her inner peaceful contenment as well as her Most Exhileratingly Pleasurable Excitement.

In basic words, but trying to remain Totaly Polite and Totaly Respectful with How I say it, basicaly once woman seem to reach their early forties, they Then Realize their OWN Sensuous Pleasures are Not Only just as IMPORTANT than the Guy they are Involved withs NEEDS, but actualy, in My Mind, Your Pleasures are Even More So Important than MY Needs, and I DO Sincverely Believe that Woman Now Fully get THAT, once they hit a certain age. [early forties its seeming to Me]

Before then, its seems that woman are more concerned with being sure the guy they are involved with, is always fully satisfied, putting the guys Needs Fisrt, 2nd to their own.

Not that I hate That, lol, BUT, To ME, now that I have aquired Much Working knowledge since I have been divorced, I have come to the Great realization For MYSELF, and My Own Pleasures, they are by Far Much More Greatly Enhanced when a Wonderful Woman is Very Much in Tune with Her Own Ultra Femine Sensuousness for Most of MY Pleasures actualy Come From Her Intense Enjoyable Pleasures and the Visuals Of Her Enjoying Herself So Intensly.

Bottom line, My Intensity keeps growing huger and HUGER, Feeding off of HER Intensie Pleasure.

The Happier and More Ultra Stimulatingly Arroused I can make Her, and Keep Her that way, the More Happy and Ultra Stimulated I end up being.

With No End in sight to as how High the Mutualy Intense, Ultra Arrousal can go for Us Both.

In essence, WE ach Feed off each others Sensuous Intensity, and isn't THAT The way Life truely should be between two Good people who Do Sincerely care about each other???!!!!!!!!???????!!!!!!!!

The Point in telling YOU All that WAS, do not at all Feel like You are Missing Your Youth for, the Fact Is, You Truely Are at a Fabulous Place in Your Life Right Now.

SO Embrace it and Love the age You are at because it truely is maybe the Best Turning Point in Your Life to now be Fully in Tune with Yourself to Be Enjoying Your i

Part 2 - didn't all fit in One.lol
Please read in order as to not take anything out of context.
Part 2:
:
SO Embrace it and Love the age You are at because it truely is maybe the Best Turning Point in Your Life to now be Fully in Tune with Yourself to Be Enjoying Your inner self, maybe More than You ever have before in Your Life, with great meaning to it.

And when YOU Have a Special Guy in your Life, who IS Fully Aware of THESE Changes in a Woman at This age, as well as HE is also Fully Aware that HIS Inner Contenful Happiness can be So Greatly Enhanced by Putting a Womans Needs Right Up there with HIS OWN, always Being Sure She is Equaly Stimulatingly, More than Satisfied as WELL, OMG, the True Blissfull, Contenful Happiness the two can share in a relationship, is SO Much Better than You would ever imagine it Could Be, when we were Younger.

I have dated woman who were Much younger when I first got divorced, thinking, why not, I am a single guy and if woman in there early 30's ARE IN Fact interested in ME, Go for it Right !!???!!!!

Good for My ego. Right??

Maybe So, BUT, now that I Know what I KNOW about Woman and How their Chemistry Changes, once they hit their early forties, I Will Only date Woman in their forties and Will Never Ever date Younger Woman again.

I Don't even Care if they Look like they just Jumped of the pages of Penthouse Magazine. [And I have actualy dated plenty of woman Who Do look like that]

But, my Ego I have learned means Nothing at All as compared to My True, Contenful, inner peace and Happiness shared with just One Wonderful Woman, who has Now Come into Her Own, and is Now In touch with her Own Feminine, Ultra Sensuous side.

Embrace Your Current age and do not at all pine for Your Youth for the reallity IS, from My Perspective, YOU Are Truely at the start of the Best, most Fullfilling To YOU, Time of your Life.

As Long as You Find a Knowledgable Guy to Share This Same Knowledge and happiness with, You Can and Will Be Happier than You maybe have Ever been in the past, when you were younger.

I have also Noticed in Woman starting in their early forties, and I definately See it in YOU, in what little I can See of YOU in YOUR Profile pics, a certain Magneticaly Attracting to ME, kind of ambiance, that only seems to SHOW, once a Woman Does in fact hit her early forties.

The best way I think I can describe it is Like Visual Pheramones.lol

It Attracts ME So Powerfully to a Woman that it makes My intelligent, logical thinking brain, litterally turn to Mush over Her.

In Your case, Not Only is THAT Powerfully Attracting Me to YOU, but also, Your Very Uniguely, somewhat introverted,[In a good way, and so am I somewhat, by the way] yet Deep Thinking Individualism, is Sincerely Blowing Me Away over YOU.

Wow, Wow, and WOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Its appearing To Me, that YOU and I have some Severaly Serious Commanlities / Compatabilities, that very well COULD make You and I a Pair of Dueces that Would Beat a Full House any day, in a game of cards.lol

We Both are slightly introverted in a good way, yet enjoy socialability in equal measure.

We Both are Absolutely Deep Thinkers and it Shows in each of Us.

We Both Smoke. Not such a great thing to share and WE Each really should quit one of these days. But Not Today.lol
[in todays world though where smoking is considered socialby unacceptable, it is Nice that We Each do smoke and could / would not feel uncomfortable smoking around each other, or feel like we were offending each other by doing so]

Here is a Big Commonality We share.
WE are both Self Employed.
Thats Huge for it Definately Shows Deep thinking and somewhat introverted individualism,

3/27/2012 5:19:25 PM

Part 4 - didn't all fit in one. Please read in order as to not take anything out of context. Part 4 : : That won't put a smile on my face, but I would appreciate You making that Clear Imediately, if that is the case though. However, like I already said, I am going to remain Hopelessly Optimistic, thinking We Do have Great Compatability and You are Just as willing to explore the possibility of THAT with Me as I am with YOU. Please Let me Know on that Right away though, EITHER WAY?? Holy Shishkabob !!! This email to You turned into a John Grisham, Novel length, long, loooooooooooooooong email.lol Oopps !!!! Hope it doesn't bore You and put you to sleep.lol The Good news i guess is That is how much my brain got stimulatingy arroused over YOU just from How and What YOU wrote in Your Profile. YOU are Truely a Unigue and different kind of Woman, in ALL Good Ways, Much more than the norm, of what is out here on POF. I am Ultra Intrigued with YOU Already. Here is hoping You also will be as well, with Me. By the way, please do not feel at all compelled, to write Me an equally as ridiculously LONG email as I have just written YOU.lol Matter of fact, I would RATHER you didn't Please. Much shorter multiples are much better. Easier to read and respond to. The fact that I Wrote YOU this much initialy, was just something that kind of just happened With YOU and hopefully it Will make YOU Realize that I obviously have some Serious Interest in YOU here and didn't just write You a few one liners, slinging some of my best bullshit to You.lol So hey, what part of Quincy do You live in?? I live in the Wollaston area about 1 mile away from the beach, about 1 mile away from the hyway, and about 1 mile away from Marina Bay. [Have only been living in Quincy for a couple of years and am not from here] What major Landmark are You near so I have a clue where YOU are located?? Are You in North Quincy, or near the beach, or near Quincy Center, or on the Braintree side of Quincy, or near the Hospital, or Near Quincy Point near the Fore River Bridge, or in Squantum, or near the Houghs Neck part of Quincy, or in West Quincy near Furnace Brook Rotary??? [Lots of parts to Quincy huh?lol] How long have You lived in Quincy and where did You grow up??? Ok, So, balls in Your Court here now. Hope your having a Great Day. Write Soon, even if its only to say Hi, initialy Please. Cio 4 Now badboy4U - Gary

3/27/2012 5:23:01 PM

Part 3-didn't all fit in one.
Please read in order as to not take anything out of context.
Part 3
:
WE are both Self Employed.
Thats Huge for it Definately Shows Deep thinking and somewhat introverted individualism, and I Love the fact that being self employed does Give US Full control over our OWN Destinity.

I own a Swimming Pool Company.
Have my whole adult life.
Incorporated it way back when I was still in College.

Its had its ups and downs over the years but the Possitives certainly DO outwiegh the negatives.

Its given me the opportunity to do some World travel, provided brand new homes that I built out in the mucky muck suburbs to raise my 2 lovely, amaizing daughters in, the ability to give them all that little girls need in life to have a good jump start in life, as well as made my ex wife well off well off financialy and devestated Me financially when we got divorced.lol[thats one of the negatives.hahaha But so it goes]

I have also owned several other busnesses in my life and always looking for others to be involved in as well.

At one point, when I was spending lots of time in Mexico, deep down in the Yucatn Penninsula, I was Importing Shrimp into the United States.

Highly Lucratvive and Big Bucks involved.

However, Highly Risky and You can Win Fortunes overnight and Loose them overnight just as Fast.

Very Exciting and FUN though and I may get back into it at some point.

Meesha, I am Ultra Curious at hearing what YOU DO being Self Employed??

With Your Unique individualism, You Got Me on pins and needles Curious to Hear All about what it is You Do being Self Employed???

What is it?
How long have You been doing it?
And is it Prosperous for YOU???

Where I have been self employed my whole adult life, and a natural Entrapeneur, as well as Naturaly Curious, I am Highy Intrigued and Intensly Interested in the fact that You are self employed, and would LOVE for YOU to Tell Me All about what it is YOU DO Please Meesha?????!!!!!!!!!!!!!???

Here is something else I should point out to YOU, that Could actualy be considered Another Commanlity We Both Share.

I am Also Loving Enjoying the fact that YOU Are only 5ft tall !!!

With what I can see in your profile pics, You appear to Be just The Exact size and shape of the Exact type of Wonderful Woman that has ALWAYS Most physically Attracted ME in My life !!!!!!!

Thats a really, Really, REALLY Nice Thing !!!!

Even though physical compatability is Only Part of the important neccesary ingrediants that make up a Fabulous relationship, lets call it what it is though, its a HUGE ingrediant if the relationship IS TO Have the Longevity that All Good people hope to Find in thier lives, for lasting, contentfull compatability.

Oh, here is another Great Compatability, in case You Don't Notice.

We Both Live in Quincy.

How Conveniantly Cool is THAT !!!!!!!

[Providing We Both Find each other as equaly compatable and equaly intriguing to each Want to establish a relationship with each other, of coarse.]

I am going to remain Hopelessly Optimistic, that WE Each Will in fact, as we go threw the initial learning curve of Each Other, Find, We Do Have HUGE Compatability and are Ultra Attracted to Each other in All Ways that Matter in a Great Relationship.

Which are Mentally / Emotionaly / and that All So important Physically, with Earth Shattering Chemistry going on between Us.

Only time can tell sometimes though.

Unless of coarse, YOU Already know You have No interest here.

That won't put a smile on my face, but I would appreciate You making tha

Degrees Of Lying

I am not proud of myself, nor would I promote choices of and participation in such a type of relationship such as the one I am about to describe. I discuss it here nonetheless as it is simply great blog material and a great example of how there can be dregrees of lying, and that the truth can be slowly unfolded, as opposed to frankly put out there.

I was going through a divorce and so jacked up on Prozac at the time that I think that it wasn't so much that I missed the signs, as much as I simply did not care. But I ended up in a realtionship with a man who seemed at the time sincerely convinced of himself and in particular of his particular process of unfolding the truth.

When I met him, I was divorcing and he told me that he had a girlfriend, but that they were in the middle of breaking up. Now, I would normally not get myself involved with someone under these circumstances, but at the time, I did, probably for the sheer distraction and enetertainment value it afforded me at the time.

We dated and became intimate. He took me to him place. I thought there were lots of "things" there that might more likely belong to "a girlfriend" who was closer to living with him than not. He told me that she "did spend more nights there than he had originally led me to beleive," but that they were still definately "breaking up". OK.

One time we were having sex on his bed when I suddenly noticed a pair of black lace panties hanging three inches away from my nose. I asked him about the panties. He admitted that the girlfriend did indeed live with him, but that they were still definately "breaking up". OK.

A few weeks later, I am hanging out at the bar where he works and I see a picture of him and the "girlfriend" and someone makes a comment about "his wife". I ask him about this. He admits that they really are married, and that although this is why he is having such a hard time breaking up with her (duh!), they are defiantely divorcing. RIGHT!

I broke up with him. They are still married. I am sure he is still trying to "break up" with her.

And I am still a very silly goose!




  

How Vanity Is Saving My Life

I am vain. Of course I am vain. Why else would I be so happy to be a belly dancer, constantly parading myself out in front of the masses half naked and with enough make up on to look like the Maybelline factory blew up in my face?

But, here is a seemingly "bad" characteristic that is truly a "good" one. My vanity is saving my life!

For example, I won't drink too much or smoke too much, because I know it is very bad for the skin.

And I am a huge health nut. Although I have been since I was a teenager, I know that I appreciate the fact that eating healthy is contributing to the preservation of my "looks".

I slather myself with sunscreen because I know that the sun causes up to 90% of wrinkles. If I end up avoiding skin cancer, that is a bonus. I know I do it because I am vain. But being vain has it's health benefits :)

In my effort to eat healthy (i.e. stay pretty), I tend to cook for myself.

Tonight's dinner consisted of:

Lentils with Brown and Wild Rice
Caramelized Onions
Tossed Salad with Cooked Brussels Sprouts and a Garlic, Fresh Ginger, Bragg's (a health soy sauce) and Sesame Oil Dressing
Fresh Sliced Strawberries with Brown Sugar and Coconut Ice Cream (the coconut ice cream is made with coconut milk, NOT dairy)

This meal was made with all organic ingredients and is vegan! (And very typical of a meal I might prepare for myself, as well.)

I am happy to share the recipe but have to approximate quantities as I use the "handful of this and a pinch of that" technique.

  

The Public Posting of Penis Pictures

I am participating in on-line dating. I think my ad is relatively "normal". "Single gal, looking for single guy, likes long walks, movies, and fine dining," etc etc. So my question is; Why do I inevitably get pictures of men's penises? What is this need to publicly post pictures of their phallus's? Are they afraid that I may not find their character intriguing enough without the promotion of their private parts? Are they showing off? Making sure I like their member as much as I may like them? Concerned that I may judge them as inadequate without a long hard look at their long hard...

In spite of my experiences and smarts, I always seem to get caught off guard. Speechless, when confronted by the profile of the one-eyed monster staring back at me on the screen.

A while ago, I had been chatting with what I had thought was a relatively normal male having a relatively normal initial chatter when he asked me if it was OK if he sent me a "sexy" picture of himself. I said "sure!" Thinking I would be getting a picture of the man perhaps shirtless, showing off his muscles, or on the beach with a big smile and a tan. He told me that his ex-girlfriend was in the picture, apologized for that ahead of time, and assured me that he had her consent to post this picture for me to see. I DID think it was kind of odd, why post a picture of you with your ex, while in pursuit of someone new? And what kind of a person gives permission to do this? But whatever. Who am I to judge. And wouldn't another picture of this person of interest only be aiding my determination of whether or not to date him?

OMG!!!

Well, the guy kind of WAS in the picture, but not enough to say that the picture was of him. As soon as I clicked on the link, I could immediately see this was not just a "sexy"picture of a guy in grape smugglers. In fact, he wasn't wearing anything at all except for his GFs face hanging off the end of his...well...thingamajig. Now there is no way anyone could identify the man in this picture as all that one could see of him was a bit of his belly and just part of his, uh, "part" (at least, the part of his part that wasn't in his GF's MOUTH). BUT I could certainly identify his GFs face from across a crowded smokey room. WTF???

Needless to say, I can never ever seriously consider this guy as a possibly candidate because there is no way I can ever ever even think of him without seeing this photo in my minds' eye. OMG OMG OMG!!!

Was this supposed to impress me? HOW??? I carefully combed through my ad to see if there was anything that could have been misconstrued as me being a swinger, or bi, or a BJ fanatic. Nope, nothing. Am I being a prude? Judgemental? Unaccepting of how others chose to express themselves? Missing a chapter in my Dating for Dummies book?

Well, I have gotten unsolicited penis pictures from pursuers before, but for me, this takes the cake.

       

Why The Insomnia

The funny thing is that I tend to sleep really well. Deeply, completely. Except when I can't. When I was in college my last semester I had insomnia. I didn't sleep well for about two months. Nothing worked. I thought I was going to lose my mind.

Lately I just feel like I resist wanting to sleep. When I go to bed, the things I think about actually seem to increase in intensity and spin furiously though my mind. I have these realistic but emotionally exaggerated thoughts. They all seem to have to do with the fear of the consequences of getting old and dying.

My teeth all rotting out.
My face caving in.
My parents getting old and sick and suffering and dying.
I can't keep up with the velocity of my life.
I can't keep up with the cost of living.
I simply can't maintain.
And no one wants me.

All of these things are shades of potential reality but not really exactly the truth.

And yet panic sits on my chest like a rabid creature whose claws have sunk in and placed an excruciating pain there. I feel weak and dumb and totally NOT in control.

Intellectually, I feel completely silly for being so obsessed over something that is so natural and destined to be. But I have to admit, emotionally, I am indeed a complete wreck and it is a full time effort to live my life and get through each day these days as though I am a healthy happy human being in the midst of other happy healthy human beings.

I want to be grateful for what I have and who I am. I think I am. But obviously there is this big ugly emotional monster inside of me that is raining on my gratitude parade.

Women Are Beautiful

The art of the belly dance is in essence a celebration of the female beauty. While I am wired to be straight (but NOT narrow), I admit I love the aesthetic beauty of the feminine form. Fundamentally my sex drive is to couple with a man. However, artistically I appreciate and adore the way a woman's body breathes, moves, and takes shape in space. The subcutaneous pockets of flesh, the soft curves and slopes of her body, and the delicate limbs and details are breathtakingly beautiful to me. There is nothing more exciting than watching a woman dance, with emotive energies and synergy.

I am preparing to perform for a women's event that is to me the very best kind of venue to perform in because I know that I will get the best audience for my craft. This sort of audience will more likely find what I do both sensually as well as sexually provocative. And, will appreciate the technical skill as well as the talent. Usually, I find that it is some of one or the other, and this will be one of those rarer opportunities for me to expect to be able to revel in both.

I retired from pursuing performances in night clubs and restaurants a few years ago. I had a great run. For approximately 12 years or so I was the house dancer at the Middle East Restaurant in Cambridge MA and concurrently also performed in the vast majority of restaurants and night clubs throughout New England. It was a lot of fun and I really appreciated all of my experiences. But after a while, it was simply obvious to me that it was time to reinvent myself as a dancer and become more of the type of artist and instructor that I preferred to be.

I am still a very avid performer, and very happy with the gigs I get. The gigs pay very well, and the people really want and appreciate me. For that, I am truly grateful that I was able to establish myself as the type of professional dancer that could warrant this career.

Sometimes I miss the great parts of dancing with a live band in a club as often as I used to. But there are lots of parts of dancing in clubs that I am grateful that I do not have to experience anymore. For example, I am no longer relegated to being chosen for a gig based on what I look like or to whom I have beholden myself to. It is true; even belly dancers have politics. I also do not have to pit myself in competition against other dancers for scant opportunities and for paltry pay. While some clubs did pay a descent wage, many did not. Almost all of them wanted a specific look, an evening long commitment, at least an illusion of sexual availability, and subservient behaviour.

Now if I want to dance with a band, I will simply hire them!

There is a certain freedom and power in being seasoned and in being older. I get to chose and create my own preferred roles and experiences. My drive is a sense of desire, rather than a sense of desperation. And as the captain of my ship, I can boldly go to where I want to go and steer my own way.

Sleeping With The Cats

I have heard the comment that single women have cats to make up for the lack of physical intimacy with another person. This is probably true. I know I do. I definately appreciate my cats for their warm, furry bodies. I often refer to them as my "bed warmers". My cats will even press their little bodies up against mine. The favorite position seems to be when I am on my side, and one cat (usually my little black and white guy, Pullo, named Pullo Titus, the roman gladiator from the HBO "Rome" series, as he is the Alpha) will curl right up against and into my tummy like a little kitten sleeping against his mommy's belly. Sweet.

My favorite time is when all three of them cuddle up with me and nap together with me. However, this is hardly the case. I might get one or two at a time. Rarely ever all three at once.

I think this is because at least one of them has to be "somewhere else" at all times. My theory is that one cat has to be Standing Guard. They do this when I am in the bathroom as well. At least one cat will stand outside the bathroom door, on guard, facing out. This is a benefit of having more than one cat. I also think it is because that way, God forbid something bad should happen, not ALL of us will suffer or die at once. At least one of the clan will survive to carry on the name.

Cats are strategic like that.

Please Be Patient

I haven't had sex in over a year. I am not proud of that. I did not plan it. It just happened that way.

Finally I meet a man with whom I actually felt I could possibly want to have sex with. It's not that I haven't met attractive men lately. I simply haven't had any interest or desire. I'd become a "Nosexual". So, I was pretty happy when I felt my deflated libido raise a degree or two.

We met in a bar. I hardly ever go out. This was a lark. I felt "lucky".

He is nice, attractive, and we exchanged cell numbers. Per the current courtship ritual, we text. For three weeks we text. We have a date. It's a very nice date. We cuddle. He feeds me. He invites me to stay overnight, even offering me the option of sleeping surfaces: the couch, the guest bed, his bed (and he will sleep in the other room, he says, of course). If I was young and looking for "true love" I would have thought this was charming. But, I am not. I am festering with the repressed sexual drive of a woman in her forties and really, I just want to get laid.

I go home. I would have stayed, but I couldn't. I'm mostly a vegetarian and I had eaten his delicious steak dinner and now I had gas. Not sure what the wait period is before you can pass gas with the new man (I am sure that is in the "New Courtship Rituals of the 21st Century" for Dummies book which I meant to pick up at the local Barnes and Noble before they went out of business. Damn. Need that book.)

Another week goes by. Being a belly dancer is tough on the social life. All of my classes and gigs happen in the evenings and weekends. Dating, or finding time to date, can be a challenge. Frankly, it sucks.

We are still texting though! Things might happen!

I make some sort of subtle but clear indication that I am available and interested in having sex. Apparently, this was a bad idea. If I had the "New Courtship Rituals of the 21st Century" for Dummies book, I am sure, it would have told me what to do.

He flat out tells me that he thinks that "rushing into sex is never a good idea." I have to be patient. But all I can think is, well, I haven't been with a man in a very long time. I've BEEN patient.

Suddenly, I have lost my interest in this man. But I still want to have sex.

But at least I am "being patient".



    

Pass On The Orgasm, Please

I haven't had sex in over a year. I am not proud of that. I did not plan it. It just happened that way. I think I just freaked out. The last guy I had sex with was GREAT in bed. Young, hot, and kept me busy and sweaty ALL NIGHT LONG. What freaked me out were these itty bitty details that, on their own, probably don't seem like deal breakers, but all together, were just too much for me to take.


For one thing, this guy refused to orgasm. That's ok. I've been with men who haven't orgasmed before. Sometimes it's because they have a bad back, or are too drunk (I hate whiskey dick, but it happens). Sometimes they simply don't feel like it. Whatever.

In this case, however, I think it had to do with some sort of zen-yoga philosophy. Something about learning to tolerate whatever thing you are trying to tolerate, so that you can tolerate it some more. I can see that being helpful in some ways. For example, if you suffered third degree burns and had to tolerate skin grafts, or worked as a septic system maintenance man. But tolerating the urge to orgasm, just for the sake of NOT orgasming, just doesn't make sense to me. After all, isn't that the point? Don't get me wrong. I totally understand and agree with the idea that sex is about much more than just the orgasm. But still. If you have the opportunity to orgasm, wouldn't you want to take it? I can understand "putting it off" to pleasure your partner for longer. But to deny having the orgasm utterly and completely, forever and always, even until someone passes out from dehydration and friction burns, seems, well, silly.


Ok, so maybe that isn't quite so "itty bitty" a detail. But there is more...


The man has no drivers licence. He claims he never had one, doesn't need one, and will refuse to get one, again, forever and always. That's ok, I thought. I know people without driver's licences. I've even dated men without driver's licences. Sometimes it's because they live in the city. Sometimes it's because they lost it due to DWI's or traffic tickets.


This was fine until at 3a when we ran out of condoms, and I had to get up and go get more. He'd only brought ONE itty bitty condom with him. Assuming he knows himself, I have to ask, "WHAT WAS HE THINKING?"


The next day, albeit blissfully exhausted, I realized I never, ever wanted to do this again. Great hot sex was simply not worth the effort in this regard. I'd had to pick the guy up, and drop the guy off the next day. I'd had to run out in the middle of the night, by myself. And frankly, I felt a little "left out" in the orgasm department. After all, don't men get upset when they feel like their woman isn't getting off with them, at all, ever, no matter how enjoyable to them they may claim it to be?

There were too many things that boggled my mind. It just didn't make sense to me. All I could think of was that, if I were a guy, I would have, if nothing else in this world, these three things:

1. A drivers licence and a car (or at least access to one).
2. A crib to take a girl home to.
3. More than enough condoms.

Oh yeah, and lots of ORGASMS!!! 

Introduction

My name is Sabrina and I make a living teaching and performing belly dance. That sounds like a very goofy career, I'm sure. Those of us who are very much into what we do, however, take ourselves and what we do very seriously. It has been very rewarding, interesting, and at times, very fun of course. It has also been at times pretty hard, complicated, and exhausting.

Living my life as a belly dancer has been tricky. I have been married and divorced twice, been on a financial roller coaster, and trying to get along and even be friends with other dancers can be rough. Trying to date as a single middle aged and looks-fading woman is just as rough. I spend more time grooming these days, i.e., deforesting the landscape of my body from stray whiskers and strategically placed grey hairs, buying copious amounts of concealer for the ever expanding dark circles under my eyes, and watching everything else begin to deflate, sag, thin, and dull. I used to have a great ass. Now my ass is somewhere between my knees. I stare at it when I am shimmying in front of the mirror as it vibrates and threatens to whack my arthritic knees out from under me. Not fun.

Now that I am single "again", dating is very, well, "odd". I am 43 years old and the courtship rituals of the day have completely changed. Some of my stories are about my experiences and relationships with others as a belly dancer, but a lot of my stories are also about my experiences and relationships with men. What I really need is an Internet dating web site for us old girls who are willing to exchange sexual services for opportunities to date plastic surgeons. Or funeral directors. I simply can't afford to die but if I do, it should be after my next Botox treatment.

Watching my parents grow older, and realizing the importance of family and the meaningfulness of being there for others, has become a big part of my life. I have no children of my own. I have three cats instead. I was always very proud about NOT being a breeder. I spend my time scooping cat poop and collecting tufts of shed fur instead. How noble is that? I am sure some of my stories will involve them, too.

I have decided to start blogging because, well, life has a way of making me an insomniac and if I watch any more Netflix I am going to become permanently adhered to my futon. My skin has become that thin.

Thank you for reading.

Warmly,
Sabrina