Pass On The Orgasm, Please

I haven't had sex in over a year. I am not proud of that. I did not plan it. It just happened that way. I think I just freaked out. The last guy I had sex with was GREAT in bed. Young, hot, and kept me busy and sweaty ALL NIGHT LONG. What freaked me out were these itty bitty details that, on their own, probably don't seem like deal breakers, but all together, were just too much for me to take.


For one thing, this guy refused to orgasm. That's ok. I've been with men who haven't orgasmed before. Sometimes it's because they have a bad back, or are too drunk (I hate whiskey dick, but it happens). Sometimes they simply don't feel like it. Whatever.

In this case, however, I think it had to do with some sort of zen-yoga philosophy. Something about learning to tolerate whatever thing you are trying to tolerate, so that you can tolerate it some more. I can see that being helpful in some ways. For example, if you suffered third degree burns and had to tolerate skin grafts, or worked as a septic system maintenance man. But tolerating the urge to orgasm, just for the sake of NOT orgasming, just doesn't make sense to me. After all, isn't that the point? Don't get me wrong. I totally understand and agree with the idea that sex is about much more than just the orgasm. But still. If you have the opportunity to orgasm, wouldn't you want to take it? I can understand "putting it off" to pleasure your partner for longer. But to deny having the orgasm utterly and completely, forever and always, even until someone passes out from dehydration and friction burns, seems, well, silly.


Ok, so maybe that isn't quite so "itty bitty" a detail. But there is more...


The man has no drivers licence. He claims he never had one, doesn't need one, and will refuse to get one, again, forever and always. That's ok, I thought. I know people without driver's licences. I've even dated men without driver's licences. Sometimes it's because they live in the city. Sometimes it's because they lost it due to DWI's or traffic tickets.


This was fine until at 3a when we ran out of condoms, and I had to get up and go get more. He'd only brought ONE itty bitty condom with him. Assuming he knows himself, I have to ask, "WHAT WAS HE THINKING?"


The next day, albeit blissfully exhausted, I realized I never, ever wanted to do this again. Great hot sex was simply not worth the effort in this regard. I'd had to pick the guy up, and drop the guy off the next day. I'd had to run out in the middle of the night, by myself. And frankly, I felt a little "left out" in the orgasm department. After all, don't men get upset when they feel like their woman isn't getting off with them, at all, ever, no matter how enjoyable to them they may claim it to be?

There were too many things that boggled my mind. It just didn't make sense to me. All I could think of was that, if I were a guy, I would have, if nothing else in this world, these three things:

1. A drivers licence and a car (or at least access to one).
2. A crib to take a girl home to.
3. More than enough condoms.

Oh yeah, and lots of ORGASMS!!!